Tuesday 22 August 2017

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SUCCESSFUL AND UNSUCCESSFUL PEOPLE

There is a great discovery I have made lately. This has been confirm by what I observe in people around me. The great difference between a successful person and an unsuccessful person lies in these two major things.

  • Management of time and
  • Management of endowments and opportunities.
When an individual is very conscious of his or her time, and understands that any time wasted can never be regained, he or she plans out and manages the time available to him or her carefully. By so doing, a lot is achieved within the shortest possible time. Whereas, when one procrastinates and plays away the time he or she has, he or she would end up not accomplishing much. So, manage your time well.

The next important thing that brings success is management of endowments or talent if you may say. As well as managing every opportunity that comes your way. A talent not utilized is just like a hidden treasure that is not important until it is found. Every human being has a talent and or a treasure buried in him by the creator. That is what makes you unique and different from others. So, discover and use your talent to shine. Again, opportunity lost, can never be regained, so make the best use of every opportunity that comes your way. Opportunity comes but once!!

Do you want to succeed, then heed this discovery of mine and see yourself soar like an EAGLE.
 YES YOU CAN!!!

Friday 4 August 2017

ANGER MANAGEMENT 11

ANGER MANAGEMENT 11
In the last session, you learnt about the causes and types of anger, this session will expose you to the effects of Anger and how to manage your anger.
EFFECTS OF ANGER
The effect of anger may be positive or negative. It affects the way we think, feel and behave. Well managed anger can be a useful emotion that motivates you to make positive changes however uncontrollable anger can lead to arguments physical fights, abuse and assault. It can lead to health, emotional and mental problem.
POSITIVE EFFECT OF ANGER
Appropriately managed Anger can be useful and powerful enough to motivate you to make positive changes. Anger can get you to take decent action and do something about a particular problem. Anger may make you to be assertive, strong and confident. It could have positive outcomes such as increased work motivation, improved relationships and increased mutual understanding (Akinade2013).
NEGATIVE EFFECT OF ANGER
Unresolved Anger issues leads to anxiety which can have long term effect on your life. Immediate effect of Anxiety might include dizziness, rapid breathing, muscle pain, muscle tension, headaches, and problems with concentration and memory. Long term anxiety can pose dangerous risk to your physical and emotional state. Individuals who suffer bouts of anxiety can be at greater risk of suffering stroke, serious memory loss, chronic sleep disorders and relationship issues can develop.
                  Also anger can lead to accident especially on the road. It can ruin or poison interpersonal relationship at home, school, work or in the community. It can lead to parent, child and spousal conflict. Uncontrolled anger can be dangerous and lead to crime abuse and very violent behaviour. Anger expression might also have negative outcomes for individuals and as well as a decrease of productivity and increase of job stress. Visible effect of anger on some people include feeling sad, and showing it in the face, feeling uneasy and uncomfortable.
     Health effect of anger include Headache, digestion problems such as irritable bowel syndrome or other digestive disorders abdominal pain, insomnia, depression, skin problems such as eczema, heart attack hypertension. Akinade(2013) Also people who show anger all the time tend to have disturbed lines of thought. This may make them irrational or even not thinking before acting. They may make risky decisions about their relationships, careers or others in their lives.
                 Before your anger and anxiety wreck havoc on your entire life, find out what you can do to stop it
         
        GENERAL SRATEGIES FOR MANAGING ANGER
Keeping your temper in check can be challenging. Below are anger management tips which can help you put your anger in control.
1. Change your thinking: Think before you speak. In the heat of the movement it is easy to say something you will later regret. Take a few moments to correct your thoughts before saying anything and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.
2. Listen Correctively: Listen attentively to what the other person have to say. The point may be as valid as yours. Do not interrupt them. Only one person should speak at a time not the two of you as this may lead to a shouting competition.
3. Do not hold grudge: Forgiveness is powerful tool practise forgiveness. You should forgive the other person once he or she regrets or apologise for whatever is the case of your anger. If you forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation it’s unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want at all time.
4. Communicate using I’’ phrases : To  avoid  criticizing  or placing blame on other which might only increase tension use I statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example say I’m upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes instead of “ you never do any house work”
5. Identify possible solutions: instead of Focusing on what made you mad. work on resolving the issue at hand. Remind yourself that anger won’t fix anything but might only make it worse.
6. Practice relaxation skills: when your temper flares put relaxation skills to work .Practice deep breathing exercise, imagine a relaxing scene or respect a calming word or phrase such as” take it easy” .you might also listen to music or write in Journal. Whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.
         
7. Take a time out: Timeouts aren’t just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what is ahead without getting irritated or angry. Walk away from what instigates your anger temporarily mentally until you cool down. Once you are calm, express your anger.
8. Use of humour to release tension: Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humour to help you face what is making you angry and possibly any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Try to crack jokes it can help you achieve a more balanced perspective as long as there is no risk of misinterpretation.
        CONCLUSION     Anger is deadly, it can lead to the loss of lives and property and even insanity in
         Some individuals, so it is up to us to control anger in order to live safe and happy lives.    
               However if you feel you cannot control your anger you should seek expert control. In D. L. I we have the learners support team made up of Professional Counsellors who are ready to help you. They will expose you to Anger Management Counselling which will focus on learning specific skills and ways of thinking to cope with anger.